As I write these words I feel like I won the lottery. I'm sitting on the edge the Deschutes River in Bend, Oregon, sipping coffee and working on my laptop, creating amazing stuff for my business. The sun is shining through the trees and there is a slight breeze cooling my skin. I am happily working on my passion and having a moment where I'm thinking, "Holy shit!! This Law of Attraction stuff REALLY works!".
Let me back track for you a bit. About six months ago I had a "Come to Jesus" moment with myself. I had been working full time as a hospice nurse and spent everyday in anxiety about my responsibilities. I had an unsupportive boss and my patient's families needed me to solve problems that were often times too hard to solve (nothing is easy about dying). I would wake up every morning, check my computer and would panic at the extraordinary problems that I had to solve on a daily basis. Have you heard the term, putting fires out? That was me. Daily.
I have always thought hospice was my calling. But after doing this for two and a half years, the job was not getting any easier and I found myself become more and more unhappy. To top that off I had been trying to do my business on the side and had been telling people for years that they need to follow their joy and to trust in the Law of Attraction to bring to them what they wanted.
Now I can honestly say, this has been true for me. I have manifested my perfect home and I did it in two weeks. I manifested a large Meetup group where I got to teach my passion and share my joys about the Law of Attraction. And most importantly I have attracted my soul mate, who literally came to me when he started coming to my Meetup group. All of this came to me miraculously and by using the Law of Attraction. But when it came to money, I wasn't as trusting of this divine power.
I was fortunate enough to have good pay as a nurse. Yet it was the good pay that kept me in my job. I knew deep down I needed to let it go. But my Ego/Capricorn brain was telling me to "get real and keep the good paying job."
The problem (really this was my reality check) was that I was working with the dying. And everyday I got to ask myself, "If I died today, would I be happy? Would I have fulfilled my dreams and lived on purpose?"
Everyday, the answer was a loud NO! I wasn't living fully. I barely had time to work on my business (at that time I had a book that I had been sitting on for almost a year to get out there because I didn't have time nor energy to get it published). I snapped at my kids on a daily basis. I woke up with anxiety every day and at night could only stare at the TV because I had no mental capacity to do anything else.
The turning point came when I asked my sweetie on New Years Eve how he would rate the year. He said on a scale of 0-10 he would give it an 8 or a 9. His business, which is his passion, has finally gained momentum and he was able to do projects that fulfilled him greatly.
When he asked me, I lowered my head and said sadly a 3 or a 4. I even remember throughout the year he would ask me about my book or my coaching, and I would always change the subject since I felt so defeated that I didn't live the way I believe I was destined to live.
After that conversation I realized the only person who was going to make my dreams happen was me. I had to take a leap of faith and jump. I had to take a chance on me and put my full faith into the Law of Attraction. I mean, that is what I teach, right?
So a few weeks into the year I decided to take the leap. I was going to tell my boss I was leaving and proclaim I was going to follow my dreams. Yet I was terrified and I couldn't get the "realistic" part of my brain to keep it's thoughts to itself (is this even possible?).
I had some money in savings, but not enough to last more than a couple of months. I had a mortgage. Car payment. Kids to feed! I sat there paralyzed by what I was about to do and all of my fears about being a bad mom, not being responsible, and thoughts of "What if I fail?!", came crashing into my brain like a terrorist.
So I ran outside and called my life line, my sweetie, who knew exactly what I was going through since he did this same scary move five years ago. He asked me a question that gave me the final push to do what I knew I needed to do.
He asked me, "Do you believe you can do this? Do you believe that you can make your passions a reality and make a difference in the world?"
I didn't hesitate for a second. Inside of me came a lions roar and I stood up tall, took a deep breath and shouted "YES! I know I can do this! It was what I was born to do and I will succeed. No matter what!"
You know what happened then? The Universe heard me. And now, 6 month later I have my book out, and have a new podcast that will help the world. My Meetup is thriving, and I have a video blog where I am sharing my journey of 365 of Joy.
I am fully living in my purpose and opportunities are flying my way. In fact I have been asked to teach with an organization where I get to help thousands of people set goals through the Law of Attraction. And the income potential is completely mind blowing! This opportunity only came to me because I was available to do this now that I was not working as a nurse any more.
I have come to realize that we must leap if we are to succeed. We must put our faith into something more powerful than us and try to not get in the way. We must say YES when we are called. And we MUST live as if every second in this short life counts.
Because it does.