As a single person in this day and age we are bombarded by an array of negative feedback. We are told that if you are too old you will never find love. Or too fat, too short, too tall, or too weird. Then we have media that constantly tells us that if we look better than we could have love. If we were perfect, then and only then will love come a knockin'.
I remember when I became single for the first time in my adult life at age 35, I had the nerve to listen to people, like my ex-husband, tell me how hard it must be for me. I mean I was the ripe age of 35, and had 2 little kids. Who the heck would want me?!
But the truth is, love is our natural state, and is attainable by ALL. I've read story after story about people who found their Soul mates as late as in their 80's. I'm not suggesting that it will take that long to find love, but if you believe that you are going to have this wonderful relationship, the first thing you need to do is start training your mind into believing it.
Our thoughts, when thought over and over again, become beliefs. For many of us when we date, it doesn't work out, then we think over and over again, "this sucks and I will NEVER find love!" I have met countless people who are single and one of the first things they say to me is there are no good people out there. They tell this to me, their friends, family, Facebook, Twitter and even the grocery clerk who then thinks to themselves that if they don't find someone before they are 25 they will end up like that poor "old" lady. Do you hear the cats meowing?
What I'm trying to say is its no wonder so many of us give up hope when it comes to finding love. In fact, many of us settle because the idea of being the spinster cat lady is just downright depressing.
I'm here to tell you that there is hope, and it's hope itself that can and will bring love to you. No matter your age, weight, or financial situation, you too deserve love. But in order to get this, we need to change the way we think and how we talk.
I've developed 3 easy steps that anyone can use to help you get out of your rut and let love come running into your arms.
Step one: Change your conversation.
Take a moment and write down some of your negative conversations around love. Then after you're done with that, rewrite this in the positive. Once you find one that works well for you, use this as your affirmation and say it over and over (and over and over...) again.
The one I used for years was, "I'm being pursued by attractive, available men, who are excited to get to know me and are not afraid of falling in love with me."
Lo and behold it worked! In fact my Soul mate did all of this (and then some!).
Step two: Take time to heal your inner child.
One of my biggest blockages with finding love was that my little Michele was feeling unlovable. I know many of you had less than good childhoods, and even if you had stellar parents, there was probably some kid who made you feel like a piece of terd.
As adults, we have done our best to move on and not let the things from our past get to us. But in truth that little child in you is still there and wants to be heard. When I finally sat down and started to envision my little child getting love from me, I felt a big shift happen. I also started to attract better quality men who up until that point wouldn't give me the time of day.
So sit in a quiet space, close your eyes and remember a time when your little self needed someone to listen to him or her, and be that loving ear that they so craved. If it's hard to visualize, try writing your child a letter of how much you love and appreciate them.
Once you do this exercise, you too will have some shifts. And a happy child.
Step three: Write out what your looking for in a partner, then make it your goal to become all on that list.
Like attracts like. This is how life works. When I wrote out my list when I first became single, I didn't realize that that list was for me. To help me be the best person that I was meant to be. I realized that finding a mate was more about who I was then what I looked like, or how I acted on the first date. There is an energy that can't be seen but can be felt.
That's why when we fall in love we say, "I just knew." This energy field is the "likeness" that is felt between two people who completely match and complement each other.
My Soul mate and I always marvel at how much alike we are. He's almost a perfect mirror of me. And after I worked on myself and became my best me, I sure the heck enjoy the best version of him. Now we continually bring that out in each other.
Finding love is far less complicated than we make it. The only thing you need to do is work on you. Then keep believing that love will find you. Because it will!